Sunday, August 31, 2008

Trying to Find My Center


I want my little blog to be a pleasant, lovely place for you to visit. I want you to be able to get away from the bad things, the troubles, the hurricanes and politics and sadness. I don't want to let you down by talking about my sad side or struggles. However, as you know, my sister closest to me in age is dying. She is now on morphine and is still in pain, her stomach has grown huge and she's really a tiny thing. I can't be with her but I'm so thankful that my other sister lives and works close enough to look in on her every day. We braced ourselves a couple nights ago because they told us she might not make it through the night. She rallied for a little while but she can't go on, especially in pain, can she? She may have brought it on with alcoholism but I don't want her to suffer. I love her. It hurts so bad. Sometimes my husband is helpful and sometimes I'm quite alone. I know you have things going on too, some very serious things and I want to be supportive. Of all things I want to be supportive to the bloggers who I feel are my friends. Finding my center. Whenever things are bad I feel that I have slipped off of my center. I have to get back to a strong place. I know that if I didn't have God in my life I would be totally lost. I'd be lost in the darkness of the storm. God bless you, Diane

10 comments:

Jayne said...

Oh Diane, I am so sorry. Please know that it's OK to feel the pain and to reach out here. That's what community is all about after all. Watching a loved one pass is so painful and though we don't want to lose them, we don't want them to suffer either. May you continue to feel the warmth and peace of God as he surrounds you and lets you know that you are not alone. Many warm hugs to you friend.

Anne said...

Diane, I'm a friend of Jayne's, and linked here to read about what is going on in your life. I send me warmth, support and prayers, and here in another time zone I am lighting a candle for your sister and all of you who love her. In the midst of your sadness and grief I pray that grace and light will penetrate your pain and darkness. I know that God holds you gently in his embrace.

NCmountainwoman said...

I hopped over from Jayne's blog. Please know that there are many of us who are thinking of you.

Island Rider said...

Jayne sent me over. A fellow sister in Christ is praying for you and yours.

ROBERTA said...

May God's peace, that passes all of our understanding, be with you and your family.

Lynne said...

Diane, I'm here via Jayne too. I lost my sister just four months ago an believe I understand some of your pain. You and your sister are in my prayers.

LauraHinNJ said...

I came by via Jayne also. I hope your sister's pain will not be too great.

Sharon said...

Diane,

What a great witness to your faith in God. I will be praying for you, your sisters, and other family during this time. Blessings,

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

I'm arrived here from Jayne's blog. I am so sorry. You and your sister, all her care-givers, and all the family members are in my prayers.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I hope your Sister has peace soon. You as well. Hugs from me through Jayne.